Dog Show Silliness

Did you happen to watch the National Dog Show in Philadelphia on Thanksgiving?

Neither did I, but I read that Claire, a Scottish Deerhound ( I never even knew there was such a breed) won for the second year in a row, making history at the annual event.

The National Dog Show (NDS) is a posh soiree, with tons of pomp-and-circumstance involved. Over 200 dogs competed this year in a variety of categories — Best Terrier, Best Sporting Dog, Best in Breed, etc., etc.

It all culminated in the “Best in Show” judging, when seven canine finalists were trotted before the judges, who checked their coats and teeth and posture and …well, everything ... before handing the top spot to Claire and her handler.

But here’s where I have the most difficulty caring about the winner of this highly elitist event: The seven finalists were all different breeds. Two were big dog breeds —including Claire — two were medium-size and three were small dogs.

I’m sorry, but how can you possibly fairly judge dogs of completely different breeds and sizes?

Yes, they can be and are winners in their individual groups, but how can they then be judged against dogs not of their breed?

Well, they just are. Purebred dog lovers want a show “winner,” and so the “Best in Show” category becomes the highlight of the competition.

Getting back to the elitist aspect of the NDS, the American Kennel Club — which sponsors the show — doesn’t allow any mixed-breed or fixed animals to compete.

"Not really our kind, am I right Muffy?"

Then there’s the fancy-shmancy names they come up with for these poor overspoiled dogs, like this and last year’s winner: Foxcliffe Claire Randall Fraser.

I mean, how could your dog NOT have four names?

While the National Dog Show as Presented By Purina — its full legal name — is the biggie of the year, many other dog shows are held throughout the nation during the calendar year.

But few of these shows offer much prize money. Claire won a $1,000 cash prize and a modest trophy, but what’s really at stake is bragging rights among the purebred dog crowd — and the opportunity to earn big breeding fees from your show doggie.

That’s kind of important, as contestants can spend up to $250,000 per year to care for and show their animals.

I guess the elite among us need an elitist event to gossip about on their private golf course or at their swanky dinner parties.

As for me, I’m going to continue my tradition of NOT watching this snobby exercise in “my dog’s better than your dog,” from the old Ken-L Ration theme song (Anybody remember, anybody? Buehler?)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5E9H_DvwOVc

And if you really want to see an hilarious poke at this kind of snobbery, check out the very funny 2000 movie “Best in Show” with Eugene Levy, Catherine O’Hara and many other wonderful actors skewering its silly pretentiousness.

Surprised the film didn’t get sued by the NDS.