I Won't Be Skiing You Soon

I live in the great state of Colorado, and it’s unquestionably the No. 1 Skiing Capital of the Nation.

Rates pretty high in the world, too, I betcha.

Now, just so you know: I come from one of the flattest and least-mountainous states in America: Iowa.

So I didn’t grow up skiing. In fact, I never skied till after relocating to Colorado in the early 80s. Now don’t get me wrong: I LOVE the mountains and actually lived in the high country (in a house) for almost 30 years.

The sub-alpine beauty, the fresh clean air, the wildlife, the peace, the quiet – yeah, it was all quite lovely.

And in those early years living up there, we as a family would head to the ski resorts when Winter rolled around. The boys were always up for flying down the slopes, and my sweet wife also became a fairly competent skier.

Me, I was in my 30s and in good shape. But for some reason I could never quite master the “skiing groove” that enables you to just shushy-shush (technical skiing term) down the hill as slow or fast as you like – just relaxed and having fun.

So you see: I DO understand the concept. I was simply never able to reach that point in my skiing skills.

Why? I dunno. It may have been the whole “anti-skiing” feeling I increasingly felt: that it is an EXPENSIVE pastime that takes FOREVER to drive to – and I’ve never really enjoyed the cold or repeatedly falling down in the snow.

And there’s also the very real chance that one (me) might never go home again.

Every Winter, we in Colorado read about the latest casualties on our slopes. Time after time, some unlucky schmo — usually from the flat lands – slams into a tree, and that’s all she wrote.

Colorado averages 11 skiing/snowboard deaths each season, with 7 out of 10 being collisions with trees. (Which begs the question: Why don't they just cut down all of the trees near the ski runs so it's one big, empty, BODY-FRIENDLY hill?)

And every time I hear about another skiing or snowboarding death, I think: Glad it’s not me.

I’m the first to admit it: I’m NOT a thrill-seeking kind of guy. Hey, I’ve done some pretty stupid and potentially dangerous things. But they usually just happened and were definitely NOT planned.

I had a few close calls when I was still skiing. Calls that made me start to think: Do I really want to risk life and limb, freeze my fingers and toes and roll around in the snow -- just for a brief adrenaline rush?

Not really.

So I stopped skiing awhile back. And I’m OK with that.

Worrying about road conditions, lines of ski traffic backed up for miles, the ever-increasing expense, the ridiculous lift line crowds, the jackass showoffs – I’m done with all that.

Hey – I didn’t make it this far trying to kill myself in some silly skiing-related accident.

If it’s your cup of tea, then go for it and enjoy, brothers and sisters.

Break a leg!

(Uh, just kidding)