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Kiss Your Axe Goodbye

Hey! Who wants to go down to the bar and throw an axe?

Not since beer began being served in drinking horns to battle axe-carrying Viking-types has there been such a similar, potentially lethal activity we can all get involved in.


It’s called axe throwing, a “sport” that was previously enjoyed in the Western Hemisphere mostly by Canadians, who probably needed something with a hint of danger during those long, soul-crushing Canadian Winters.


Before axe throwing came along as the trendy new thing to do in bars in The States, there was electric bull-riding and, uh, well, uh -- throwing darts...


All share that slight element of danger that a somewhat inebriated person might feel inspired to show off their heretofore hidden, amazing throwing skills.

My admission: I’ve never thrown an axe in a bar. Tossed around many a campfire hatchet, oh yeah, but no intentional axe throwing – bars or otherwise.


But look: If you want to go to a bar that offers axe throwing, please go ahead. We all have our own journeys. And what we each classify as “fun.”

In all fairness to the axe-throwing fraternity, it doesn’t seem to be a pursuit that’s resulted in many -- if ANY -- actual fatalities.


I’ve seen some of the YouTube vids that show some really close calls with the axes, but I’m not aware of that many serious, emergency-personnel-called-to-the-scene-type injuries.


In fact, I tend to believe axe-throwing’s safety record has generally been good -- so far. I think people – drinking or not – tend to be a little more careful around something that could potentially kill them.

But think about it: How long will it be before some drunk wanders into an axe-throwing lane looking for the little boys’ room?


Or one of those babies comes bouncing back at the thrower — like in some of the videos — and solidly connects with said-thrower’s forehead?


Hasn’t happened yet, according to my limited research, but isn’t it inevitable?


You’re probably thinking: "Hey Steve, don’t get so worked up about a silly thing like axe throwing in bars. It’s up to the individual to decide what’s fun and what’s senselessly dangerous."

And for many people — like those who show up on any given Wednesday night to knock back a few brews and toss some axes — fun and danger go together.


But couldn’t we agree on just one thing about this fun thing that’s been lacking so far?


Helmets.



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