Wake Me When (If) We Get There

Over the last several years, the auto industry has been promising “hands-free” driving.

To me, that seems like a total contradiction.

I mean, are you really driving when you don’t have your hands on the steering wheel and your feet on the pedals?

Across the industry, carmakers are working feverishly to come up with a true self-driving vehicle. You know: One you can relaxingly ride in from Point A to Point B -- and not die.

While self-driving vehicles are still technically in the “experimental” phase of development, every so often we read about people in such vehicles being killed in sometimes horrific accidents.

The main problem, say observers of the phenomenon, is that many drivers -- even, apparently, test drivers of the new technology -- don’t adhere to the basic principle of self-driving vehicles as they currently exist: To stay alert and ready to grab control in case of a mishap.

These unfortunates seem to somehow believe “hands-free” driving means “attention-free” driving.

We’ve seen the photos: People apparently sleeping in the front seat of their self-driving vehicle as it cruises down the highway.

That makes me cringe.

And trucks -- yes, huge semi-trucks -- are also being tricked out to be “driverless” in The Future. How safe would you feel to see one of those babies go speeding by you or -- worse -- coming at you?

The whole movement toward self-driving vehicles is supposed to result in “safer” roads. According to the latest data from 2020, more than 3 million people were injured in car accidents and more than 40,000 died.

In theory, self-driving vehicles are intended to reduce those numbers with the latest in AI software technology designed to keep your half-blind grandpa, your texting kid or those driving high or just carelessly from becoming roadkill.

Plus, there’s the “cool” factor of self-drive vehicles that appeals to some: “Hey, my

car drives itself! Wanna take a ride, baby?”

Uh, no thanks. Not now, not ever. But especially not now.

Even Elon Musk -- he of the Tesla fame -- is saying let’s slow down this self-drive transition till we get a lot more of the bugs worked out.

A recent story said Tesla was advising its car buyers that it’s “Full Self-Driving Software” might “do the wrong thing at the wrong time.”

"Full Self-Driving is in early limited access Beta and must be used with additional caution,” says the latest warning. “It may do the wrong thing at the worst time, so you must always keep your hands on the wheel and pay extra attention to the road. Do not become complacent.”

Excuse me, but I don’t think I could ever become “complacent” speeding down the interstate at 70 miles per hour and NOT having my hands firmly on the wheel. And the notion of taking a nap while the car does all the driving sounds like a Death Wish.

But apparently there’s enough interest by the public for a self-driving vehicle that the experimentation -- and nasty road death accidents -- will continue until car makers “get it right.”

Until then -- and probably long after -- count me out.